Ive thought long and hard the past few weeks, spent time in church talking to Him about everything. Did not want to discuss the issue with anyone else because I wanted this to be my decision and only mine, with no other influencing factors and I have made up my mind. It’s human nature to always want to give life a shot, we want to take that chance. We may be unsure, we may be apprehensive but we do it anyway because we do not want to look back, regret and say ‘what if?’ So we muster our courage, with the support of our friends who tell us ‘just give it a try, you never know’ and we give things a try. What comes after is a snowball of events that stems from the initial unsureness and gut feeling we had at the beginning to pull the brakes. We then have to deal with the consequences simply because we took the easy way initially of trying instead of resisting.
Because the bottom line is ‘when your heart hasn’t found the right person, you’ll always feel unrest. Or sometimes it isn’t even an outright feeling of unrest, its just that after you’ve found the missing element, you finally realize the overwhelming peace that you never had before’. This time, walking away, I feel that peace within me. Something I havent felt in a very long time. It feels like I have finally done something right. Im not saying it’s easy walking away. It isnt. An average smoker takes at least 7 attempts to quit before he finally succeeds. Getting used to someone after so long, it definitely did not take just 1 attempt to be able to walk away without having the strength to not come back and sink back into familiarity and what you are used to. And while friends around you will tell you ‘to stick on and give it another go because it’s a waste to throw everything away especially when you’ve come this far’, stick to your guns and what you believe in.
Yes I know that love isnt easy, the path is not meant to be a smooth sailing one but when two people weren’t meant to be, the road is even harder as compared to when you’ve found the right person, love overcomes all things and it becomes more effortless than it should be. So learn from my mistake and stand strong in what you believe in. Dont compromise on your principles and your instincts because 99% of the time, you’re probably right because you know yourself best. Dont lose hope in what you believe in even though everyone around you may think otherwise, do not allow them to influence you because at the end of the day dear, you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions, not them.
I leave you with this beautiful quote from Doo’s blog that has inspired me so so much:
‘What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.’
and this beautiful story that her friend wrote in a note on fb:
‘I’ve seen during a hospital attachment in CGH, an old lady in her eighties arriving in an ambulance with her husband and maid in tow. If I don’t recall wrongly, she had broken one of her limbs during a fall and the paramedics were rushing her on the stretcher to the A&E. But as they were pushing her, the old man came ‘running’ from behind calling out for his wife. The paramedics however, very urgently and professionally ignored him as they wheeled her to A&E. Still, the old man persisted and kept hollering from behind and they came to an abrupt stop. When he eventually caught up, he slipped a pillow under her and said in dialect something along the likes of: “Here, your favourite pillow. I’ll be waiting outside.”
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18